This is my first art project that talks about our family history in the period of 1965, one of the darkest and brutal masses in the history of the country, with many stories left untold and untold when it comes to the events of 65. Terror and fear are the result of a prolonged stigma against leftist people or groups in Indonesia, so many of us chose to forget or deny our association with anything communist.

My choice to investigate my family background is part of my effort to fight stigma, fight forgetting, recognize our identity and raise our awareness as part of the families of the victims of 1965. Starting with collecting all my family photos and grandfather’s documents, I read and compiled pieces of information about my grandfather Boentardjo Amaroen Kartowinoto that I had never known before. The process continued with interviewing family members and relatives who had the courage to share their experiences and stories.

This process led to memories of conversations with my father when I was a child, which gave me a new perspective on the events of ’65. As with other family stories and experiences, I found great strength and hope in my aunt when trying to find her missing father and the great risk my grandfather’s sister’s family took when they decided to take care of communist children, my father and his six younger siblings, which in itself shows that human values are far more noble to fight for than submitting to terror and fear.